During the past year, I have become aware of the increasing interest, and controversy surrounding, the concept of children's 'self-esteem.' An editorial in The Washington Post attacked the current use of 'self-esteem' as a pedagogical concept that could threaten a child's growth. Another recent article presented research data comparing American students' academic achievement with that of their peers in other western nations; results indicated that American teenagers scored poorly on the math section of the tests, but scored highest on their confidence in the same skills. These articles raise legitimate concerns, but ones which, I believe, point to a fundamental misunderstanding of the meaning of self-esteem.

Both articles suggest that self-esteem refers to an unrealistic, inflated perception of self. However, self-esteem, understood as one's capacity for coping with the disappointments and challenges of life, as well as the sense that one is a unique and valued individual, is a different quality altogether. It provides the foundation for a child's emotional, social, and cognitive growth. Many years ago, before self-esteem entered the lexicon of educational jargon, American psychologist Alfred Adler wrote, "Low self-esteem breeds anxiety, fear, excessive timidity, and a burden of guilt; it fosters rage and frustration, exaggerated competitiveness, and often concomitant violence."

It is my experience that every family believes in the value of self-esteem (as I have defined it) for healthy social and psychological growth; unfortunately, many families (and schools) hope to create self-esteem for their children through misguided short-cuts, which often include:

• Attempting to solve a child's problems for him/her, rather than allowing him/her to grapple with them
• Overpraising or inappropriately praising a child's efforts
• Refusing to set limits, or to hold a child accountable for misbehavior

Self-esteem is not a quality of character that parents and schools can give a child; rather they can only work to create the conditions for a child to develop it from within. Its growth is a process that requires the adults to give time, show patience and provide many experiences that encourage, challenge and test a child's mettle. A deep and lasting sense of one's own competence and worth is the most powerful protective factor in coping with the difficulties of ordinary life. Being concerned with the development of self-esteem in children is certainly important for parents and teachers everywhere. However, like anything worthwhile, it is a pursuit that is much more complex and difficult than we might wish.

Thomas A. Northrup
Headmaster